cuttlefishculling:

okay. real talk. everyone pay attention. this could impact your life dearly one day.

the cake is a type of food, dessert, that involves sweet light fluffy forms of bread to take the shape and be sandwiched typically between filling or icing to accentuate maximum sweetness and pleasantness. the ultimate goal of a cake is to be well decorated, sweet-tasting, and delicious. the word ‘cake’ itself is derived from a norse word ‘kaka’, but please do not make a kaka-flavored cake or i’m literally gonna take away every baking utensil you own so you can never make the same mistake again.

here are some pictures of cake, compiled into one image because you’re lazy and so am i

science at this point has progressed to the point where people realize, “i am not having a party. but i would like cake. there are not enough people in my immediate radius that i would be comfortable sharing a cake for no reason with.” so they invented the cupcake, but quickly realized that the crusty top (“muffin top”) was gross as shit and dolloping $3.99 icing on the top isnt doing anyone any favors.

so they developed the perfection that is cake and decided just to size it down. individual slices, small cakes, etc, go into this category. cupcake wrappers invalidate the status of a small cake, as do any pastry that is not ‘decrusted’ like a real cake. small cakes, or tiny cakes, are just cakes: sized down. this is a preferred status for a cake, as long as you have no friends or a tumbler account.

however! the culinary sciences have gone the extra mile to perfect the cake even more. studies show that round cakes, aka tinycute cakes, are cuter, more pleasant, tastier, adn known to cure many malignant diseases and depressions.

here is an example so you know what to do.

the OPTIMAL tinycute cake is palm sized or less.

SO REMEMBER!

1. REBLOG to promote small cake awareness
2. REMEMBER to tag tiny cakes as #tiny cakes, to tag tinycute cakes as #tinycute cakes, and to tag optimally tinycute cakes as #optimal tinycute cakes.
3. RESPECT the tiny cake dignity. Do not give in to the cupcake, brownie, or fudge menace

#food

REBLOG OR UR TUMBL ACCOUNT DELETE IN 3 DAYS