TRU ZODIAC QUOTES!

Feb 16

you guys are silly for following this still

it’s dead. it died. i’m sorry. RIP.

i’m glad about the times we had. i’m glad about the laughs we shared. remember when every blood cell in a scorpio was jackie chan? because i do. i remember every second of it.

i get this question all the time so i guess i’ll finally tell ya’ll what my main is

http://cuttlefishculler.tumblr.com

seriously though unfollow this blog its dead

Feb 01

cuttlefishculling:

okay. real talk. everyone pay attention. this could impact your life dearly one day.

the cake is a type of food, dessert, that involves sweet light fluffy forms of bread to take the shape and be sandwiched typically between filling or icing to accentuate maximum sweetness and pleasantness. the ultimate goal of a cake is to be well decorated, sweet-tasting, and delicious. the word ‘cake’ itself is derived from a norse word ‘kaka’, but please do not make a kaka-flavored cake or i’m literally gonna take away every baking utensil you own so you can never make the same mistake again.

here are some pictures of cake, compiled into one image because you’re lazy and so am i

science at this point has progressed to the point where people realize, “i am not having a party. but i would like cake. there are not enough people in my immediate radius that i would be comfortable sharing a cake for no reason with.” so they invented the cupcake, but quickly realized that the crusty top (“muffin top”) was gross as shit and dolloping $3.99 icing on the top isnt doing anyone any favors.

so they developed the perfection that is cake and decided just to size it down. individual slices, small cakes, etc, go into this category. cupcake wrappers invalidate the status of a small cake, as do any pastry that is not ‘decrusted’ like a real cake. small cakes, or tiny cakes, are just cakes: sized down. this is a preferred status for a cake, as long as you have no friends or a tumbler account.

however! the culinary sciences have gone the extra mile to perfect the cake even more. studies show that round cakes, aka tinycute cakes, are cuter, more pleasant, tastier, adn known to cure many malignant diseases and depressions.

here is an example so you know what to do.

the OPTIMAL tinycute cake is palm sized or less.

SO REMEMBER!

  1. REBLOG to promote small cake awareness
  2. REMEMBER to tag tiny cakes as #tiny cakes, to tag tinycute cakes as #tinycute cakes, and to tag optimally tinycute cakes as #optimal tinycute cakes.
  3. RESPECT the tiny cake dignity. Do not give in to the cupcake, brownie, or fudge menace

#food

REBLOG OR UR TUMBL ACCOUNT DELETE IN 3 DAYS

(Source: cuttlefishculler, via freshstep-deactivated20120319)

Jan 25

gunugy asked: my sun is virgo and both my moon and ascendant are taurus, but my midheaven is capricorn. does this aligbnment lessen the impact carpriconrn has on my heart? doe s it being midheaven cancel out the inhernet satanic origins behind capricorn? polease help me oh gr8 buttzodiac

what is a midheaven? taht sounds made up =/ sorry to tell you this but thankfully that probably doesnt mean jack shit:D

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Anonymous asked: O.O my little sister is a caprecorn, can I do anything to save her?

no

jbohbih asked: im a socrpio with a libra moon so iz dat why i have a buttstingerr nd lopsidded b00bies too?>??

:O!!! actially yea! did you go to college for zodiac too?

[video]

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Jan 24

Anonymous asked: I'm a scorpio. My horoscope always tells me that I am sexy, passionate, mischievous, and I have a temper... It says that we're basically the "bad guys" of the zodiac. I am actually really mild-mannered and timid... so is my horoscope just wrong?

ok it is a zodiac FACT that if your zodiac description doesnt match you and you are definitely sure you were born on that day. like 100%. you dont think you like popped out and crawled back in or anything (tust me it makes a diference) then that means your zodiac was writeen by an unprofesional. :/ UNFORSHUNATELY there are lots of ppl who try to pass themselves off as zodiac majors but theyre just jagoffs with a tarot deck. dw i’ll be sure to do accurate business with you, and 4 free on this blog ^_^

zejhyr asked: what is wrong with capricorns

im sorry but anyone whose majored in zodiac studies at any great collage would know that capricorns are all direct results of satan’s business. his fecal matter crumbles into hard hellstone and that is the heart of a capricorn. as a god fearing kid i cant really service capricorns and know my conscience is clear :/